SAY WHAAAA?

V I O L E T T A

Director Park

877 SW Taylor at Park

I know I'm only a few burgers into this blog thing but I just gotta say:

DAMN I love a game changer.

Check check check it out. This is how we did it and this is how you've gotta do it because they DO IT UP at Violetta. What I'm saying is that Yakuza has a super-happy-well-balanced burger competitor. In fact, I think Yakuza has some stepping up to do. Did you read that? I just wrote that, and it's a true statement.

the Violetta Burger, as eaten by me:

cushy but happy top bun, with sesame seeds

secret fancy tomatoey/slightly creamy (spicy) sauce

PICKLES

thinly sliced red ONION (I know, just wait)

'ten hour' tomatoes--super soft cooked tomato angels

big big lettuce

applewood smoked bacon

sharp white cheddar

angel burger (1/3 lb,

bottom bun

OK, so I have some justifying to do. As I keep writing entries, as I keep thinking about burgers, some truths about what I love have come out of the brain woodwork. Like any life decision, knowing what you truly love and knowing what you truly want can make decisions a hell of a easier than say, not knowing anything. Obviously, being flexible is important too. I gotta say though, when you know, you know. And I know that Violetta knows, so that makes this all very easy.

We've got a bready bun, non-juicy but moist add-ons, and a well-seasoned burger. On the surface, you'd look at the burger and think it looked pretty good. The attention to detail here is really what helped this burger win my heart:

The slow-cooked tomatoes. No juicy grossness from fresh tomatoes that makes a burger annoying to eat. Durability is a huge success factor, and the mother's-tomato-saucey flavor is so nice and not as overpowering as you might imagine.

Slightly spicy angel sauce. First off, I have to say that my darling burger companion didn't think there was a lick of spice in the sauce. Being the sensitive infant I am, I did notice something lovely and spicy and a sensation that ADDED to the taste without being DISTRACTING. Apparently, this is what you spicy-loving folks occasionally experience with spicy dishes while I'm sitting there suffering, scarfing down rice/bread/milk just to keep functioning. So, I had a nice time with the magic sauce. Kinda creamy, spicy (not very), slightly tomatoey but not really. My companion has an aversion to mayo, and this burger also made him happy.

Pickle/Onion crunch blessing. Again, just another indicator that this burger is helping me conquer many annoyances by having subtlety and artistry be their goal. The whole painting is gorgeous, not just that little highlight on that Dutch water pitcher. You know what I mean?

Whole painting burger love at $7 a pop.

I would also like to take the opportunity to say that I have been frequenting Violetta for months now for their hand-dipped corn dogs. If there were more corn dog outlets, this would be a corn dog blog. You know I love burgers, but damn I love corn dogs. They're not cheap ($4 for one) but always and forever add the additional corn dog for $2.50. It makes it much more reasonable and you will never ever ever regret it. Eating two, I mean. Unless you share. That's sweet, but when it comes to these corn dogs, you should probably just eat two. And the sweet potato fries. Burgerville's are seasonal. Big mistake Burgerville. Violetta just does it up. 100% of the time. Damn.

And one more thing. If your eco-green angel heart is thinking AWW damn tasty food but so much trash... You should know that all the packaging, napkins, cups--everything except the plastic lids for coffee--is compostable, and they have all the sorting bins labeled clearly and you don't have all that guilt. If you really need that extra napkin, go ahead. It will be worm food within a couple days. Again, I gotta say Violetta does it UP.

Please consider the Violetta burger the reigning champ of this blog. Hasta Luego Yakuza.

Nice hunka BOIGAH

Dudes.

Firstly, I'm so happy that a few of your read this. It really compels me to write more and eat more burgers and write about my experiences more. So thanks.

I wanted to write about a burger I had a couple days ago. It wasn't at some fancy, white tablecloth kinda joint (though there was a white tablecloth, now that I think about it), and it wasn't at some dive bar that you all have told me to visit (I'm definitely going to go, promise), but it was at the lovely home I get to call my place of employment!

That's right. I'm taking a minute to write about a homegrown burger from the house I'm lucky to spend my waking hours in. Alex and I were invited to have burgers with the whole family, and it was just so lovely. I love these people and I love their babies and I love meat, so... Do you understand?

People I love + MEAT = could die from happiness

Homemade burgers.
You want to know why "home is where the heart is"? Home is where the meat is, at least in my fantasy world.

So here's the BOIGAH:

TJ's Kalamata olive roll (yes, they went there)
avocado
lettuce

ketchup
Tillamook cheese
burger
Roll part two

Now I feel like I've sidetracked from my larger goal of feasting on restaurant burgers, but lemme tell you that few FEW FEW FEW FEW burgers come close to burgers cooked on a grill or cast-iron at HOME. This one was particularly lovely. Great size, and the nice roll stayed intact (not your momma's wonderbread kinda bun), well-seasoned meat, added happy fats (dairy and avocado)... you can't really go wrong.

It's my mission this week to eat at least TWO THIS WEEK. So expect some high art.

And if you didn't take note of the Make-a-Plate from which I was eating this burger, look again. Made by Rosa, 1985. Stars, Rainbows anchored by clouds. Could this experience have won anymore? Doubt it.

Hometown Heroes

D I C K ' S

10 E 3rd Ave

Spokane, WA

Hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

Every town has a hometown hero. Someone the people look to as an example of what to be, someone who people aspire to be. Some people might achieve similar greatness, but most do not. And when it comes to what I regard as 'ideal' or 'great', I obviously think about burgers, particularly the perfect little cheeseburgers put out by the greatest of burger windows: Dick's of Spokane, Washington... my hometown hero.

Dick's, known to some folks as 'Richard's on 3rd' (come on already (!)), is a Spokane landmark. If you ever went to Spokane and didn't visit Dick's, you were led astray and I feel sorry for you. This place was my childhood haunt--the place I begged to go for lunch after an IMAX movie or a trip to Riverfront Park. Just picture an old burger window, and you've got a pretty good image of the place. It's been around at least fifty years, maybe longer. My mother and aunt, who grew up in Spokane, never had time to hang around this place as teenagers (each going to school full time + working nearly forty hours a week), but a lot of their peers were lucky enough to drive across town for awesome burgers.

OK. The burger. Sorry. What other place do I have nostalgia for like this one? I don't, so let me have my moment.

THE BURGER. The end-all, be-all fast food burger:

top to bottom:

bun

raw onion*

cheese

burger

pickles

bun

*If you've read even one of my other posts, you know my severe distrust and dislike of raw onion. The onions on this burger are the ONLY exception to my rule. Nostalgia trumps all. PLUS this burger needs crunch and onion is it's only significant helper.

So the burger. I'm going to write, without hesitation, that the regular cheeseburger at Dick's is my oldest and most dear friend. Sure, we don't see each other very often. There have been years and years where we didn't talk, didn't laugh, didn't hug... but the moments when we're together make it seem as if not a minute had passed since my last bite. And, if I'm lucky enough to be in Spokane in the summer, as I was last weekend, I get to visit my friend on one of Dick's few picnic tables. They've covered their new tables with a hard plexiglass, so vandals (i.e. me) can't carve who they love into the table (J+S=LUV, by the way).

Right, the burger. Your basic burger window burger BUT it has an X factor. You know, one you can't explain. One X that makes this burger so lovely that... well, that's really the end of my post. It's just so good. It might be the ambiance--partly cloudy skies, 67 degrees, too many seagulls and swallows to count, ALL of which are begging (usually successfully) for french fry remnants (and how'd the seagulls get so far inland anyway?), the oily/exhaust smell from being sandwiched between one of Spokane's busiest roads and the highway, the cast of Spokane characters who are always lurking around, the kids who work the window who are REQUIRED to memorize your order (they don't and cannot write anything down (how legit is that?))--or it could be the amazing deal (all of that for $3.50???), OR the taste. OR ALL OF IT. Perfectly salted meat, nicely melted cheese, the pickles loose their crunch but the onion (hasuifhfniwygfhsjdhfksgfs) makes up for that... the house-made tartar sauce that, if you're in the know, you always always order not one but TWO....

I feel like I'm giving the whole experience away but I'm really not. Come to Spokane with me and I'll show you how they do it up there. I'll take you to an IMAX movie, the old Merry-Go-Round, the Goat trash compactor, the aerial gondolas, and then buy you a BURGER, FRIES, and a MILKSHAKE for like $3.50. Isn't that ridiculous? You think I'm the cheap date?? HA! I'll show you who's cheap.

Oh yeah, and did I mention it's super cheap and super tasty and pulls on my super heartstrings every visit? I bet you caught my drift.

By recommendation... Café Castanga

C A F E

C A S T A N G A

SE Poplar at Hawthorne

Last week I got the chance to hit up Castanga's fancy Café with some of my favorite honeys--Frank, Alex, and Lola. This is a place that I've always peeked into, felt that, "Ughhh not ready to deal with the vibe of that place..." because it always appeared stiff, trying really hard to be cool, and it was never a place I'd imagine Frankie (my dear friend, companion, and guy I take care of full-time, age one) and I could kick it... The kind of place I'd have to catch any french fry before it was dropped by his pudgy hand.

That being said, I was pleasantly surprised when we entered. The place was packed with people of a variety of ages, we were offered a high chair (huh? awesome), and Frank spent time talking on Lola's waterproof cell phone as we waited for our order. No one seemed to mind us passing around the phone, talking loudly, causing a little mayhem. This is important to me as a restaurant goer. So, POINT Castagna.

Let's get to the burger. The menu gives you the basic burger, and you have the option to add cheddar, blue cheese, and bacon. I was really hurtin' for blue cheese, and if bacon is an option I actually have to choose it. It's actually not possible to turn down (just realized I need to write an entry just about bacon). The gals ordered one with cheese, one without (poor Lola, cheese-intolerant QT), and Lola's was ordered rare, ours medium. I went all in, but for $14 I was expecting something to completely blow away Yakuza's burger. I was expecting something. I had expectations. This is what I got:

(top to bottom)

top bun (sesame seeds on half(??))

bacon (skinny)

blue cheese (maybe a heaping tablespoon)

burger (maybe 6oz., but that could be generous of me)

mayonnaise aioli (they called aioli, but it was just mayo... come on guys. Nothin' garlic-y about it)

bottom bun

On the side I was offered a generous offering of lettuce, some raw onion (you'll never see this on a burger I eat--it's a texture thing), and a heaping order of fries.

OK here goes. The Café Castanga burger.

The picture does this burger justice, although it was actually quite a small burger. The perfect, love of my life, don't lay a finger on her, purple mountains majesties burger, in my opinion, doesn't need to be a certain size or shape. It needs to rock my world. That's all there is to it. However, if a burger is going to be smaller than my palm (which this one was), it better have the ability to fill me up and make me happy. And this seemingly beautiful burger left something to be desired.

I've been thinking about it all week. All the flavors were there. I thought the beef was seasoned really well, and one might even say VERY well. The bacon was a little flimsy for my taste (more on bacon at another time), but it too was very tasty. The crux of this particular burger's fall was the 'mayo/cheese combo' being cooked at medium. You'd never ever ever ever ever think that these two glorious additions would wreak such havoc on a burger but oh, you'll never ever ever think that way again. And I'm not talkin' bout TASTE. No, the taste was pretty well designed and the first few bites were really convincing. But, one thing that is very important to me is that the glory of the burger can withstand the heat, the constant groping, the constant ogling. I don't want anything to fall apart. And the moisture of the cheese, mayo, with the lovely juicy burger made for a soggy, creamy burger. "Creamy burger", just seeing that in quotes, makes my stomach turn. And I hate that. I hate that it came to that. But it did.

My companions, though, also didn't think their burgers were up to par, especially for the price. Lola had to send her first burger back because it wasn't a rare-cooked burger. It was medium like the others. She got her new one shortly thereafter and check out the pool:

Impressive, but when something's RARE, it's just been killed. It's lightly toasted for one second. It's a crime scene, almost. Lola was wearing a red shirt that day. With steak on it. They could have caught the drift. Blood, you know? She wants it.

But! Frankie was happy with the french fries, and could play with his train and cell phone. Important qualities. So the burger didn't really win me over. And the other's thought theirs were underwhelming. Not wanting to get too Euro on you, but we were just... whelmed.

Maybe their other meals are better. I hear good things. Bottom line, though... tasty for a minute, too blegggggggtoocreamydon'tdothatIcan'teatthat after that. And not to get too mushy on you, but... it's a little bit sad that all burgers aren't, you know, perfect. Just a little bit sad.

Yakuza... if you start with the best, what about the rest?

Y A K U Z A

NE 30th at Killingsworth

I'm just going to start by saying that I knew what I was getting myself into when I ordered the 'Yakuza Burger' tonight. I've had this burger on multiple occasions and really consider it nearly perfect in every way. It might seem like a cop out for my first entry to be about what I already know, but seeing as how I would compare every burger to this one anyway, I figured it should be noted in the very early stages of this record.

I should probably have some kind of method of explanation, as I hope many more burgers drive me to this kind of satiation, the kind where I don't know where to start or where to end so I'd probably just continue to blab and it would probably just get uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I'll start by explaining what composes the burger, to the best of my knowledge.

The Elements (bottom to top):

Toasted Bun (with sesame seeds on top portion)

Spicy Chipotle (?) Mayo situation

Fresh Greens (I think I saw spinach and arugula)

Kobe Beef burger (about an inch thick, cooked medium)

Goat Cheese

House Catsup (spicy!)

Crispy Fried Potatoes (like thick shoestring style)

Now, I'll be the first to admit that if I was the artist and I had these ingredients, I would probably beg and plead for some old fashioned Heinz Ketchup and some Best Foods mayo. However, I am not this burger's creator, and that's probably for the best. Anyone who reads this should know I'm worse than an infant when it comes to spice. I really find it difficult to tolerate and, though my friends tell me I can build a tolerance (and I don't think they're joshin' me), it's just not something that I want to put myself through. On the off-chance that I'm going to have an awesome awesome meal, I don't want to have to struggle with that meal. My time is too precious.

BUT burgers like this burger begin to make me question my existence (what have I been doing anyhow?), and with that make me question my beliefs on spice. OR MAYBE, which I think is more accurate, I think what the Yakuza Burger does is pairs amazing flavors in such a way that makes the spice tolerable, and I can feel all the flavors on my palate creating an amazing piece of artistry with each bite. The goat cheese and greens save it for me, because they act as a somewhat neutralizing element for the ow ow ow hot ow spiciness and actually ask me to appreciate how they're working together. AND anyone who puts shoestring potatoes on ANYTHING wins in my book. You actually can't loose with crispy fried potatoes. You actually can't.

Oh, and all of this is stacked seven or eight inches high, with a skewer holding it together. We pressed ours down with our palms to make it manageable and they both had incredible staying power, structurally, lasting until our last couple bites.

Long story short, if you couldn't tell, working through my issues with spice. I'm an infant. BUT both myself and my darling companion cleaned our plates, finished our Whiskey #2's with pleasure (whiskey, gingerbeer, AND ginger on ice... so refreshing). The staff was really great, nice chill vibe (as always). Overall, totally awesome.

The Blog I Always Wanted

I decided it was finally time to make this. A little piece of internet where I can come and write my deeply-felt feelings about one of my ultimate loves... Burgers.
I'll eventually post a bona fide, real McCoy of an entry. Until then, here's a list of some the places I'm planning on sampling from (or already have and need a second go, for the sake of 'research'):

Yakuza
Café Castanga
Burgerville
Dots
McMenamins
Mike's Drive-In

I'm worried this might just turn into collection of entries about (awesome awesome awesome glorious) food, but I really hope I stay on track.