Hometown Heroes

D I C K ' S

10 E 3rd Ave

Spokane, WA

Hero: a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.

Every town has a hometown hero. Someone the people look to as an example of what to be, someone who people aspire to be. Some people might achieve similar greatness, but most do not. And when it comes to what I regard as 'ideal' or 'great', I obviously think about burgers, particularly the perfect little cheeseburgers put out by the greatest of burger windows: Dick's of Spokane, Washington... my hometown hero.

Dick's, known to some folks as 'Richard's on 3rd' (come on already (!)), is a Spokane landmark. If you ever went to Spokane and didn't visit Dick's, you were led astray and I feel sorry for you. This place was my childhood haunt--the place I begged to go for lunch after an IMAX movie or a trip to Riverfront Park. Just picture an old burger window, and you've got a pretty good image of the place. It's been around at least fifty years, maybe longer. My mother and aunt, who grew up in Spokane, never had time to hang around this place as teenagers (each going to school full time + working nearly forty hours a week), but a lot of their peers were lucky enough to drive across town for awesome burgers.

OK. The burger. Sorry. What other place do I have nostalgia for like this one? I don't, so let me have my moment.

THE BURGER. The end-all, be-all fast food burger:

top to bottom:

bun

raw onion*

cheese

burger

pickles

bun

*If you've read even one of my other posts, you know my severe distrust and dislike of raw onion. The onions on this burger are the ONLY exception to my rule. Nostalgia trumps all. PLUS this burger needs crunch and onion is it's only significant helper.

So the burger. I'm going to write, without hesitation, that the regular cheeseburger at Dick's is my oldest and most dear friend. Sure, we don't see each other very often. There have been years and years where we didn't talk, didn't laugh, didn't hug... but the moments when we're together make it seem as if not a minute had passed since my last bite. And, if I'm lucky enough to be in Spokane in the summer, as I was last weekend, I get to visit my friend on one of Dick's few picnic tables. They've covered their new tables with a hard plexiglass, so vandals (i.e. me) can't carve who they love into the table (J+S=LUV, by the way).

Right, the burger. Your basic burger window burger BUT it has an X factor. You know, one you can't explain. One X that makes this burger so lovely that... well, that's really the end of my post. It's just so good. It might be the ambiance--partly cloudy skies, 67 degrees, too many seagulls and swallows to count, ALL of which are begging (usually successfully) for french fry remnants (and how'd the seagulls get so far inland anyway?), the oily/exhaust smell from being sandwiched between one of Spokane's busiest roads and the highway, the cast of Spokane characters who are always lurking around, the kids who work the window who are REQUIRED to memorize your order (they don't and cannot write anything down (how legit is that?))--or it could be the amazing deal (all of that for $3.50???), OR the taste. OR ALL OF IT. Perfectly salted meat, nicely melted cheese, the pickles loose their crunch but the onion (hasuifhfniwygfhsjdhfksgfs) makes up for that... the house-made tartar sauce that, if you're in the know, you always always order not one but TWO....

I feel like I'm giving the whole experience away but I'm really not. Come to Spokane with me and I'll show you how they do it up there. I'll take you to an IMAX movie, the old Merry-Go-Round, the Goat trash compactor, the aerial gondolas, and then buy you a BURGER, FRIES, and a MILKSHAKE for like $3.50. Isn't that ridiculous? You think I'm the cheap date?? HA! I'll show you who's cheap.

Oh yeah, and did I mention it's super cheap and super tasty and pulls on my super heartstrings every visit? I bet you caught my drift.

By recommendation... Café Castanga

C A F E

C A S T A N G A

SE Poplar at Hawthorne

Last week I got the chance to hit up Castanga's fancy Café with some of my favorite honeys--Frank, Alex, and Lola. This is a place that I've always peeked into, felt that, "Ughhh not ready to deal with the vibe of that place..." because it always appeared stiff, trying really hard to be cool, and it was never a place I'd imagine Frankie (my dear friend, companion, and guy I take care of full-time, age one) and I could kick it... The kind of place I'd have to catch any french fry before it was dropped by his pudgy hand.

That being said, I was pleasantly surprised when we entered. The place was packed with people of a variety of ages, we were offered a high chair (huh? awesome), and Frank spent time talking on Lola's waterproof cell phone as we waited for our order. No one seemed to mind us passing around the phone, talking loudly, causing a little mayhem. This is important to me as a restaurant goer. So, POINT Castagna.

Let's get to the burger. The menu gives you the basic burger, and you have the option to add cheddar, blue cheese, and bacon. I was really hurtin' for blue cheese, and if bacon is an option I actually have to choose it. It's actually not possible to turn down (just realized I need to write an entry just about bacon). The gals ordered one with cheese, one without (poor Lola, cheese-intolerant QT), and Lola's was ordered rare, ours medium. I went all in, but for $14 I was expecting something to completely blow away Yakuza's burger. I was expecting something. I had expectations. This is what I got:

(top to bottom)

top bun (sesame seeds on half(??))

bacon (skinny)

blue cheese (maybe a heaping tablespoon)

burger (maybe 6oz., but that could be generous of me)

mayonnaise aioli (they called aioli, but it was just mayo... come on guys. Nothin' garlic-y about it)

bottom bun

On the side I was offered a generous offering of lettuce, some raw onion (you'll never see this on a burger I eat--it's a texture thing), and a heaping order of fries.

OK here goes. The Café Castanga burger.

The picture does this burger justice, although it was actually quite a small burger. The perfect, love of my life, don't lay a finger on her, purple mountains majesties burger, in my opinion, doesn't need to be a certain size or shape. It needs to rock my world. That's all there is to it. However, if a burger is going to be smaller than my palm (which this one was), it better have the ability to fill me up and make me happy. And this seemingly beautiful burger left something to be desired.

I've been thinking about it all week. All the flavors were there. I thought the beef was seasoned really well, and one might even say VERY well. The bacon was a little flimsy for my taste (more on bacon at another time), but it too was very tasty. The crux of this particular burger's fall was the 'mayo/cheese combo' being cooked at medium. You'd never ever ever ever ever think that these two glorious additions would wreak such havoc on a burger but oh, you'll never ever ever think that way again. And I'm not talkin' bout TASTE. No, the taste was pretty well designed and the first few bites were really convincing. But, one thing that is very important to me is that the glory of the burger can withstand the heat, the constant groping, the constant ogling. I don't want anything to fall apart. And the moisture of the cheese, mayo, with the lovely juicy burger made for a soggy, creamy burger. "Creamy burger", just seeing that in quotes, makes my stomach turn. And I hate that. I hate that it came to that. But it did.

My companions, though, also didn't think their burgers were up to par, especially for the price. Lola had to send her first burger back because it wasn't a rare-cooked burger. It was medium like the others. She got her new one shortly thereafter and check out the pool:

Impressive, but when something's RARE, it's just been killed. It's lightly toasted for one second. It's a crime scene, almost. Lola was wearing a red shirt that day. With steak on it. They could have caught the drift. Blood, you know? She wants it.

But! Frankie was happy with the french fries, and could play with his train and cell phone. Important qualities. So the burger didn't really win me over. And the other's thought theirs were underwhelming. Not wanting to get too Euro on you, but we were just... whelmed.

Maybe their other meals are better. I hear good things. Bottom line, though... tasty for a minute, too blegggggggtoocreamydon'tdothatIcan'teatthat after that. And not to get too mushy on you, but... it's a little bit sad that all burgers aren't, you know, perfect. Just a little bit sad.